Jingle Du Jour

Got another one! Suckers. Here's an audition from two guys who are not necessarily funny, but can sing a jingle. But since one of the best news shows ever was HBO's Not Necessarily the News (Stuart Pankin, can you hear me now), then maybe these guys will make it all the way.

Thank the Jingle!

Okay the hex put on this site by who knows has seemingly been removed. Now I can post this Jingles audition for your viewing pleasure. Doug and Ben, I hope you made it on the show because you are singing to my jingle loving heart. Oh and for the fans who enjoyed the panda sledding, I'm also posting a picture of a dog.

Who the Jingle are You?

BREAKING NEWS! Well not really, it is on You Tube. But this is what I know. This Jingles show has 8 teams that have been narrowed down from 75 finalists. The winner will win a contract with an advertising agency. These teams are supposed to be talented. Apparently there is a huge Klondike Bar in the show. And Rachel Perry of no fame whatsoever has auditioned to host it while she appears to be high. And the same mysterious power who is not letting me show you this clip is at it again. So in the meantime, here's the picture of a kangaroo sleeping.

Everybody Wants to Rule the Jingle

I read an article this morning that basically said pop hits such as Coldplay's new song for the Ipod commercial are taking over the job traditionally held by jingles. So basically the singles they're producing are replacing the need for jingle houses. If that's the case, then that's a damn shame. I mean the following lyrics from Coldplay...."I used to roll the dice, feel the fear in my enemies eyes" can't do a product justice like "a double pleasure waiting for you, a double pleasure from doublemint gum...double fresh, double smooth, double delicious to chew." Right? Unless of course Coldplay is featured in Grand Theft Auto IV's new advertising, then consider my argument null and void. WTF? It just so happens that Coldplay and Grand Theft Auto are connected! Grand Theft Auto just edged out Coldplay's Violet Hill in number of internet searches. This might be a sign that jingles are dead. And if that's the case, I'm releasing the crazies from The Strangers on your ass, Chris Martin. And then you, too, Charlie Sheen. But that's just for fun.

Uhhhhh, Jingle Says What?

I'm not sure what to say when a puppet actually comes into a jingle audition. This is yet another audition for the CBS show. With a puppet. In a cowboy hat. I mean no offense to him, of course. He does have a stick permanently wedged up his butt and all. And I'm thinking the other two might do better if they had one as well. ALERT!!! I would show it to you but I'm sure its Mark Burnett still blocking me from sharing it. So you'll have to look at this puppet instead.

Here Comes the Jingle

Charlie Sheen is married again. No crap. And she's another young blondie who probably reminds him of those good ol' Heidi Fleiss days. So, Charlie, are you or your jingle counterpart on Two and a Half Men going to put together a little wedding jingle? Huh...huh...huh...Oh, wait, who am I kidding? You'll probably be too busy cheating on your new wife. Or watching Denise Richards new show on E! Either way, congrats you sly dog, you! By the way, I've attached video of Charlie and Brooke, but only because on the other side of the split screen are Ellen DeGeneres and her fiance Portia DeRossi and they're a lot more fun to watch.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeere's JINGLE! (Correction: A panda bear.)

Oh I know that ever since I posted breaking news about Mark Burnett's new reality show Jingles, you've been asking, "Where's the proof on this jingle show before we think you're the bogus idiot we thought you were?" Well here is the proof that it is real. An authentic, honest to G-O-D Jingle audition. And I would like to assert that it's also proof that I'm joined by bigger idiots than myself.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION!!!! I had this clip posted for you, I swear. But suddenly all the clips have been removed. Mysteriously. Mysteriously like it could have been done by someone with as much say as Mark Burnett. I suspect him. But since I don't want to get sued for slander, I only suspect him. Got that, lawyers? No accusations here that someone maybe named Mark is totally keeping me from sharing these jingle auditions with you. In the meantime, please enjoy these photos of a panda sledding on its back.

Jingles Mean Never Having to Say I'm Sorry

Not that all two fans of mine care, but I have to apologize for my prolonged absence. I was wrapped up in a fetal position crying over the fact that 1.) CBS is totally taking my steam with this whole Jingles show this summer, and 2.) Charlie Sheen is really upset about Denise Richards new show called It's Complicated and that was making me upset because I obviously live vicariously through him. Although I've managed to avoid that weird part down the middle of his hair. Quit it with that crap, Chuck! Anyway, I'm back and ready to out-jingle those contestants, whoever you are, on Burnett's latest and greatest sure to be ratings-fest. Sure I'm not singing. But I've got YOUTUBE CLIPS!

It's a Small Jingle After All!

My crack team of jingle researchers have uncovered a very strange fact. Jason Bateman, who we all know plays a jingle singer in Juno, is married to the daughter of Paul Anka, who recorded the famous jingle for Kodak called "The Times of Your Life" that launched him to even greater jingle fame. No way! That's either a strangley sweet love letter to his wife's family orrrrr....that's like Nicolas Cage marrying Lisa Marie Presley to get creepily closer to Elvis Presley. Paul Anka, really? Okay maybe it's not like that, but c'mon! That's no coincidence. Or it is. Fine, it is.

Pictured Below: Some guy pretending to be Nicolas Cage pretending to be Elvis Presley.

American Jingle

This just in from the Ventura County Star! Dan Yessian of Pontiac jingle-writing fame has a song in American Idol's songwriting competition. Its name, you ask? "You Believe in Me." Congrats Dan! Between the show's track record and the song title, should we slice into the celebratory cheese log now or later?

Pictured Below: An American Idol fan just caught wind of the good news.