Is That a Jingle in Your Pocket?

So the other night I was watching Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men inviting some chick up to his bedroom. And a few things came to my mind: 1.) When did he start to look so emaciated? 2.) Is that botox? 3.) Does being a jingle singer get you more chicks? Because if you wear oversized Hawaiian button-ups with khaki shorts, mandals and a Tony Hawk haircut from 1990, I don't think you're getting any ladies. And really, if you're some forty-something emaciated man with botox, you're not getting any ladies either. Really the only way you would is if you're famous or rich or both. This has led me to believe that jingle singers get ladies because they are basically behind-the-scenes celebrities. Let's role play this:

Jingle Singer: You're pretty.

Lady: Why isn't your face moving?

Jingle Singer: You know the Empire Carpeting song? All me.

Lady: My place or yours?

Seems pretty accurate. And from this I think we can all conclude that Charlie Sheen is better than us.

Jingle-dy, Jingle-dy, Jingle-dy, Jingle-dy, It's Jingle-dy For Me.

Behold the days when presidential campaigns were made of jingles. Anybody remember "I like Ike"? Anybody? Not that Obama Girl didn't create a great song. But it's in my opinion that if Hillary Clinton would just adopt a jingle like "Hillary's in the House" or "Hillary's Gonna Take it to the Hill" then the race would be over. Of course, that would only last for about three days, and then Obama would release "Obama's Gonna Take it to Yo Mama." Or something like that.