The Jingle, Jingle, Jingle's Gonna Moo-hoove Ya!

I present to you a veritable spectrum of the Juicy Fruit jingle. The first one is the original Juicy Fruit ad from 1981 which might shed a little light on why they ever talked about getting skis shined up in the first place. And I have to add that I'm very nervous they will choke on their Juicy Fruit if they keep doing those crazy waterski tricks. Anyway, the second one is a man's modern day heavy metal rendition of the Juicy Fruit jingle set to a homemade video. And the third one is Mtume's song called Juicy Fruit that has as much to do with the actual Juicy Fruit jingle as Tom Cruise has to do with Christianity. Please feel free to pull that one up at your next party and work it out. Work it out.

1. Choking Skier Fruit



2. Heavy Metal Fruit



3. Funky Fruit

Is That a Jingle in Your Pocket?

So the other night I was watching Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men inviting some chick up to his bedroom. And a few things came to my mind: 1.) When did he start to look so emaciated? 2.) Is that botox? 3.) Does being a jingle singer get you more chicks? Because if you wear oversized Hawaiian button-ups with khaki shorts, mandals and a Tony Hawk haircut from 1990, I don't think you're getting any ladies. And really, if you're some forty-something emaciated man with botox, you're not getting any ladies either. Really the only way you would is if you're famous or rich or both. This has led me to believe that jingle singers get ladies because they are basically behind-the-scenes celebrities. Let's role play this:

Jingle Singer: You're pretty.

Lady: Why isn't your face moving?

Jingle Singer: You know the Empire Carpeting song? All me.

Lady: My place or yours?

Seems pretty accurate. And from this I think we can all conclude that Charlie Sheen is better than us.

I Hanker for a Hunka Jingle

It dawned on me after I awoke from a dream about a cowboy made of cheese that I should post a link to the classic Time for Timers dairy jingle. Not sure if you recall this little blast from the past, but I sure do and so does Family Guy (please standby as my crack team of researchers are still looking for the link to that reference). At the end of this little diddy you'll be hollerin' for a hunka, a slab or slice a chunka jingle. Yee-haw!

I Like the Way You Make Me Jingle

When I ran across this Sprite commercial from the 80's, the jingle in it really sang to me. I mean when I was walking into work this morning and took my robe off to reveal my red bathing suit underneath, it was the Sprite in me that did that. And the full body cast on the beach last week. Crazy. I have to go shove someone off a pier now.

Jingle Defense Jamz

Feel free to kick back with a bucket of popcorn as you watch this marathon of total jinglerific fun. Beginning with the classic "Nobody Bothers Me Eder." and featuring such timeless classics as the Big Mac jingle from the 80s. Besides punks who I will karate chop in a minute if they mess with me, guess who else doesn't bother me? People who ride jetskis set to a jingle.

Sink Your Teeth Into a Hot Jingly Pocket

Below is proof that jingles touch the hearts of rednecks, and Hot Pockets give them heartburn. Please enjoy.